Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
