Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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