I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
