grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
