HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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