She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
