her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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