Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
