Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
