afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
