I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
