all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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