How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want her autograph on my taint
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
