so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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