just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize