HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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