i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
