Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
