shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores