...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?