So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.