I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
