Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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