But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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