the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
