When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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