i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
