Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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