He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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