I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
