I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So vagazzling was a success
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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