After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
