Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
