also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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