The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
