I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize