come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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