I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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