u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize