There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
