worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
