Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
