I CAN MOONWALK!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize