david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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