I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize