It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
