what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
