i think my tv is drunk
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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