Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize