Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
