Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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