apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
