Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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