My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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