You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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