why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
