we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
