Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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